Sitting next to a stream for a mini-solo, I allowed the LORD to reveal hidden things and reveal who I really am.
Take a look at my name, David, it means I am loved or beloved. To be honest, most of my life I have felt that I am hated, despised, looked down upon.
In 2 Cor 4:2 we are asked to renounce of shameful deeds, so far most of the day the LORD brought up everthing I had felt shame for and I dropped all that baggage (the heavy burdens Jesus says we should drop so He can give us rest) Matthew 11:2
I'll tell you what I was lighter than I have been in a long time, I was literally running back to camp with strenth and joy and power of a gazzelle.
Before coming to this moment of freedom, God showed me some suppressed memories that were hindering me in faith and intimacy with the Father. In my childhood I was openminded – I saw good in everyone and everything was possible. The tree in the front yard was a spaceship and my dad had access to the stars when he worked in the air tower.
However, early in junior high a curse was spoken over me where my voice was considered unimportant. So for the next 20+ years I kept my thoughts to myself. During my time in junior high, I was ridiculed/shamed/made to feel like a failure.
During this time I mistakenly replaced God for being the Devil. I allowed myself to believe the LIE that God made a mistake in giving me the personality that He did. It was like having a relationship with a vicrous dragon, you never want to get too close for fear that it will destroy you.
I was like – wow – no wonder I struggled with intimacy with the Father. So right then I brought this before the LORD and in the midst of tears He spoke to me and told me this:
I created you perfect I gave you My heart even before you knew Me. You are good and I made a wonderful thing. I gave you the most precious gift own, My Heart, I AM in you! You are my superhero that can do anything his heart so desires, because you have My heart!
So now I quote Jeremiah 1:5:
I know you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.
So what is in a name, David?
I am fearfully and wonderfully made and Christ Jesus the Eternal One's name makes me a co-heir the very day I accepted Him into my life and this Journey Into The Deep has allowed me greater access to the Father and His Spirit as I slowly die to the body and soul and grow greater in the Spirit and His life.
